I Thought He Was A Girl


The day before we found out we were having another boy, I told my wife, “I hope it’s a girl. I would feel bad having to split my guy time with John Michael.” I’ve come to know this child. We’ve become best friends. I honestly don’t know another friend, or even my wife, well enough to instinctually know that he needs to poop. I just know. It’s time. He can’t speak yet, but I know when he’s telling me he wants apple sauce instead of mac and cheese. We know exactly how to make each other laugh. He knows that when dad is home alone with him, it’s play time. We even dance together. We’re best friends. How could we fit another guy into our party?

And, if a baby sister came into the house, we wouldn’t have to give up our future guy time. She would bring a sense of calmness to our hustle. She’d be the one we protect, throw boogers at, and threaten future boyfriends for. She would give mom a reason to buy cute close, baby dolls, and big bows. She would teach us to be sensitive. To slow down a little. A baby girl would be the end cap to our world.

And then we found out. It’s a boy! I had been so sure it was a girl, that we started preparing. We had a name. We knew exactly what our lives would be like and what our relationship with our son would be like when our little girl came home.

But oh how our ideas have changed these past days since we found out. John Michael will have a brother?… John Michael will have a brother! How could he not?! Double the fire trucks. Double the action figures. Double the baseballs, footballs and basketballs! We’re over half-way to a starting lineup!

How could I have been so naïve to think that we couldn’t add another boy to our team? Why was I so selfish to only think of myself? Melissa and I love John Michael. We love our boy. He acts like a boy. He plays like a boy. He’s our boy. But with two boys, our son will have that brotherly connection that you only know if you’ve been there. Yes, the fights are  more… violent. But the teamwork, the celebrations, the interests and the bonds are undeniable. Yes, he will be different. He will have a different personality than our first boy. But, man… this is going to be one wild ride.

I grew up with a younger brother. Younger by 11 months. I couldn’t imagine not having him next to me. I couldn’t imagine not having him there to do everything with. To get dirty with. To get into trouble with. Not having a brother would have taken my life into a direction that I couldn’t fathom.

I’m so excited that we’re having another boy. We’ve only been parents for a year to a smart, beautiful, full of energy, baby boy. And now we get to start again with another bundle of our fine genetics. I’ll say it again. I’m over the moon, head over heels, out of my mind, astoundingly excited that we’re welcoming another boy. We get to add more testosterone to this household. But most of all, I’m excited that John Michael will get to have what I have. I bond with a brother that will never go away. That will never fade. That, through ups and downs, will always stay true. He’ll have someone to teach new things to. To show the “right” way to sneak out of the house. Now, that is something to be truly excited for.

In the end, we’ve let it set in. We were never really disappointed. We, or should I say I wasn’t prepared. I’ll be honest. It caught me off-guard. We’re not having a girl. But listen. We have our girl. We have our girl to protect, to throw boogers at, to chase around the house, to pester, to love and cherish. She’s our whole world. She’s our protector. She’s our rock. We call her mom. And now she’ll have one extra security guard. We’ll have another boy to call our own and add to our already perfect family. We’re having another boy, and that’s just fine by me.


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